


I want you back (but you were never mine)

by pan_and_ready_to_stan (Dark__blue)



Series: Hogwarts, a present [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Everyone Is Gay, Female Character of Color, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Male Character of Color, Multi, Narcissa Black Malfoy is a Good Parent, Pining, Rare Pairings, Texting, The Author Regrets Nothing, They start a paper/magazine thingie, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Yearning, a veryyy good parent, like so much pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2020-09-24 00:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark__blue/pseuds/pan_and_ready_to_stan
Summary: After her divorce, with her busy job, and while starting a magazine and maybe overthrowing the government (or at the very least that awful Riddle), Narcissa Black didn't think that she would date again. That is, until she saw mrs. Zabini.





	1. Chapter 1

Her phone rang, waking her. Had it been any other ringtone, she wouldn't have answered the call. She made it a point to not pick up her phone after work hours, but she made an exception for her son. Like she always did.

'Mum?' she heard, and it was Draco's voice but it also _wasn't_ Draco's voice. It sounded like someone had violently torn away all his layers of confidence, until they had reached his very centre, and then tried to destroy it. Tried, because it was impossible to destroy it, she knew that. She _ensured_ that.

That, combined with the fact that he had called her mum, instead of mother like he usually did in public, made her get up and put on a coat.

'Hello Draco, I was just about to call you. It is time for you to come home. Where are you?"

'Zabini's house, at-'

'Zabini?'

Memories flooded her mind like a tidal wave, and oh, she had never been a good swimmer. Especially not with this kind of waves, with undercurrents of dark eyes, elegant yet sharp laughs, which had cut her to pieces more than once, and delicate hands (that were stronger than they looked, what you would know if they had ever crushed your heart)

Someone had once told her that drowning was the most painful way of dying, and in these moments, it wasn't hard to believe them.

She dragged herself out of it to continue talking to Draco, because her son came first.

"Yes, Zabini, is something the matter?"

"It is not of any importance, I just recognized the name from my Hogwarts years. She has a daughter now, does she not?"

"A son actually, named Blaise, I have told you of him."

"Ah, you did. It is his party then?,' she asked, already knowing the answer. Their conversation went on, and Draco's tone sounded more relaxed, and the, rather formal, way they speak in public seemed to roll more naturally of his tongue

While they were talking, she had gotten in the car, and seeing as she was against calling while driving, she decided to cut the call short.

"And how did you arrive there? I do not remember you getting your drivers license, nor a car."

"I went with Pansy, since HER parents gave her a car, even including a driver. Is that not terribly nice of them? And such good parenting, because this will ensure her safety on the road and eliminates the possibillity of her taking unnessecary risks to get where she desires, such as getting a lift from a friend."

"I do not agree with Pansy's parents, but it is nice that you are so enthusiastic about your friends happiness, because surely that was the only reason you brought that up?", she said, blatantly ignoring his true reason.

"Well of course, _mother_", he spat.

She couldn't completely keep the smile out of her voice when she ended the call, but neither could he.

~~~

The lights of the street lamps flashed trough her windows like the worries flashed trough her mind. Something had happened at this party and Draco hadn't told her what. She hadn't asked either, because her main focus had been to calm him down, but now she needed to calm _herself_ down.

He probably wasn't harmed, right? He would have told her if he was. But he had called her, and yes, he was supposed visit her this week, but normally he didn't call her, and just walked into her house (he had a key), and slept until noon. 

Something had to be wrong if he'd called her, but what? While she was thinking of a few terrible scenario's (including, but not limited to: a robbery, some terrible sickness and a chainsaw), she'd arrived at the house.

Even if she hadn't known what house it was, she would have known by now, because the music and drunk people in the yard were pretty hard to miss.

It was a rather large, and posh house, although thinking it posh was probably a pot and kettle thing. Beneath the vomit, persons laying on the porch, and (for some weird reason) purple glitter, it was beautiful.

She squared her shoulders, and walked trough the gates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so if you see any mistakes, please tell me!


	2. Chapter 2

She walked into the party. It was unlike any she'd attended before, but that was to be expected since she'd attended Hogwarts, a strict private school, and she'd enrolled in an equally strict marriage directly after.

It was loud, and flashy, and smelled. There were people sucking face on every available surface (some doing more), and she only narrowly avoided some more vomit while walking through. Overall, it seemed pretty fun.

Because she was a snob, and had learned to determine someones worth by their material possessions, she inspected the interior. It was gorgeous, everything matched without becoming monotone, and it managed to look classy without looking posh. It was mainly black, grey and white, carefully neutral, and it looked newly refurnished (_probably after the _unfortunate_ death of her latest husband_, Narcissa couldn't help but think).

She couldn't see Draco anywhere, and it was a little bit hard to get to the nearest door, because two girls were rather... busy in front of it. This white-red-haired tangle of limps broke apart though, and the white-haired part turned to her.

"You're blonde, and older then most people here. Are you by any chance Draco's legal guardian?"

"Luna!' the red-haired part hissed, "not so direct!"

"O, I meant, are you here for Draco?"

Red-hair facepalmed. "Maybe introduce yourself first?"

She interrupted them," Yes, I am here for Draco, why?"

"Well...' , the Korean girl, who was apparently named Luna answered, 'You shouldn't go look for him."

"Why?"

"Because he's currently with his heartmate, of course"

"Heart...mate?"

Red-hair took over.

"His crush."

"Well, it could be his soulmate, but we don't know yet. They refuse to let me read them."

"So he is with Potter? Draco told me about him, though he won't admit it's a crush. According to him, Potters presence is just so demanding that he HAS to give him his undevided attention, and afterwards talk about him for hours."

"Harry _does_ have a heavy aura, but it isn't demanding, it's very kind and unassuming, like him. You have to look closely to see it."

Narcissa liked this girl, who just said what she thought, in a dreamy, otherwordly voice and so she did what was asked of her, and looked no further.

It helped that the girls both seemed so relaxed, like whatever had upset Draco was long gone (and it would be great if he and Potter finally got their act together, it would be nice to hear about something else than Potter for a chance).

"So,' Narcissa said, 'why all the glitter?"

Luna looked at herself, almost as if she had forgotten that she looked like she had seen a pool filled with purple glitter and decided to dive in headfirst (even though Narcissa had only known her for a few minutes, that seemed like a very _Luna_ thing to do).

"It looks nice", she said serenely. "Ginny only wears it because I wear it, and she couldn't keep her hands of me."

"Luna!" Ginny's face became a shade of red that clashed horribly with her hair.

"Yes, I saw that."

The conversation continued, and Narcissa almost didn't want to stop because Luna was one of the most fascinating persons she'd ever met. Somewhere during the conversation they'd exchanged numbers, and Luna had already offered to do a reading for her. (She'd said no, she preferred to not know what would happen.)

She had to, though, because she wanted to get to Draco. The girls had told her where to go ("Just follow the pull of the family lamp, then break free from the spirits and go right!"  
"You have to go upstairs, it's the second door on your right")

There was a broad hall upstairs, with a small cabinet about halfway, with a big lamp on top of it. Next to the lamp was a picture that she couldn't help but pick up. It was, of course, a photo of Diana Zabini and her son.

If someone would be in the hall with her, they would see Narcissa pick up the picture, look at it (and if they had a wild imagination, or were very perceptive, they would say that she looked at it as if it held an answer to a question she'd never dared to ask), and then, suddenly, they would see her shake her head, as if to get rid of her thoughts, and walk to the door on the right of the cabinet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, shoutout to my beta: Slytherin_Avenger, because they asked for it  
(just kidding, love you)


	3. Chapter 3

She knocked on the door, because if what she thought what was happening _was _happening, then she would be really happy for Draco, but she did not want to see any of it.

She knew she had made the right decision almost directly after she'd opened the door. Her son and Potter were standing _very _close to each other, panting, and it was almost hard to move with the amount of tension in the air.

"Draco?"

He begun to walk towards her, and it was almost painful to see how tense he was, trying to ignore the other person in the room (though she supposed not many others would see it).

She loved her son, she really did, but that didn't mean she couldn't tease him.

"Are you not going to say goodbye to your _friend_?"

She smiled innocently at him while his eyes flashed in anger. He faced Harry again, and said, "Bye, Potter."

"Bye, Draco"

~~~

They were just out of the house when a car parked before it. Diana Zambini stepped out.

Narcissa wasn't prepared, but she steeled herself, she _wouldn't_ be pulled under by her again, she would not let her gaze be pulled to those eyes, she would not start to mentally make a list with all the small changes since their school years.

Did you know that she was even more captivating now? No? Neither did Narcissa, because she didn't look, of course not. It wasn't like she felt as if Diana was a magnet, and she herself just some weak iron, no sir, not at all.

"Malfoy."

How had she forgotten this voice? It was deep like a cave were you seek shelter for the rain, and a little bit rough, like a beach where you walk barefoot, just to feel that unique texture, gladly taking the risk of there being some sharp shells.

"It is Black now, actually."

"It is? How... _interesting_."

Narcissa imagined that there was some sort of emotion in her eyes, and it was hard to not turn when they passed each other, just so she could watch Diana a little longer.

She knew see that Draco had a few questions about that conversation, because she could read him very well, and because he could read her pretty well.

He didn't ask them until they were in the car though.

"What's between you and Blaises mother?"

"Like I said, we attended Hogwarts around the same time."

"O please, you were looking at her with literal hearteyes."

"I might have developed a slight crush on her during that time."

"A _slight_ crush? Come on, you look at her like-"

"Like you look at Potter?"

"There is _nothing_ between me and Potter."

"Mm-mm, sure."

It was silent for a few moments, then Narcissa spoke up again.

"You know, that lipstick doesn't suit your skintone."

"..."

"Potter was wearing the same one, what a coincidence right?"

"..."

"And where did you get it, I have never seen this one before?"

"Alright, fine, I get it! We may have kissed a little."

Narcissa smirked triumphantly. "And how did you reach this point?"

"Well, after father ruined the party, he kinda comforted me, dealt with my panic attack in a good way and we had a good conversation."

"Your father was there?"

"Yeah. I don't wanna talk about it. Maybe later though?"

"Whenever you're comfortable. And if that ends up being never, I'll just ask Luna."

That distracted him. "You met Luna?"

She told him all about her conversation with Luna, and when she was done, Draco switched to a topic which she'd hoped he'd forgotten about.

"So when and how did you fall for Zabini?"

"I don't know." Only too late she realized her mistake. "And I didn't fall for her!"

"Whatever you say, mom."

When they were home, Draco immediately went to the room she'd prepared for him, and fell asleep. She couldn't fall asleep as easily though.

Draco had asked her when and how she'd fallen for Zambini, and she'd lied when she'd said she didn't know.

It had all been fine, dealable, when she looked at Diana and was distracted by her full lips, when she would fantasize over having permission to touch her hair, when she'd gotten lost in those dark eyes.

It went wrong when she learned how to find her way in those eyes, when she didn't focus on the lips anymore, but on the smile that graced them, when she started to notice that Diana didn't like it when people touched her hair.

It went wrong when people in romance novels (not that she read those) irritated her when they said someones skin reminded them of dark chocolate, and when it wasn't because it was such a stupid cliché, but because she knew that when you really had feelings for someone, it was the other way around. (And, yeah, also because it was such a stupid cliché)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's texting in this part, so just to be clear:
> 
> Luna is on the left and in italics  
Narcissa is on the right with normal letters

Sunday, 08:47

_Luna: _

Narcissa:

_is Draco okay?_

He is, thanks for asking.

_im glad, did he tell you what happened?_

He told me Lucius was there.

_he was, i think you ought to know he said he'd disown Draco_

_Narcissa?_

He would do that.

Monday, 16:13

_bees_

What do you mean?

_bEeS!_

The animal?

_yes._

What's the matter with them?

_theyre endangered._

_youre rich, you could give to charities for the bees._

I already do.

_great!! _

_im better at this "lobbying" thing then I'd expected._

Wednesday, 12:53

_i saw a cute frog today!!!_

Amazing.

Did you take a picture of it?

_of course not, dont you know that photos suck up your soul?_

_i mean, humans can handle a few pictures, but we shouldn't taint the frogs delicate soul like that_

Of course, how stupid of me.

_dont feel bad, a lot of people make that mistake_

_btw, ill probably have to cut this conversation short soon, Ginny and i are going on a date!_

You two still go on dates? How sweet.

_oh, this is our first date actually_

My bad, i thought you had been together for a long time.

You seemed rather... _comfortable_ with each other at the party.

_well, we have been friends for a long time_

_but we only got together at the party_

Congratulations.

_thank you!! gtg now. _

Thursday, 07:26

It just occured to me that you never use capital letters, but you did write Ginny's name with one.

Why is that?

_well, my father always says that you can easily read and understand sentences without marking the beginning with a capital letter._

_and that that rule is obviously made up by a few big corporations so that you need more ink_

Who is your father?

_Xenophilius Lovegood, maybe you know him from the Quibbler?_

I have heard of the Quibbler, although I've never read it.

_what a shame!! i already know an article youd like_

What's it about?

_bees!_

Thursday: 17:15

And why do you never use apastrophs?

_im lazy _

Saturday, 19:37

_hey, would you like to fund a weekly magazine?_

~~~

This was the first of Luna's messages that Narcissa hadn't immediately answered. The others had been fun, and provided a nice distraction from all her boring meetings, but her reply to this message could have serious consequences.

She trusted Luna though, and she had enough money to do it. Once she'd divorced from Lucius she'd decided to do what she wanted, and she wanted to do this.

~~~

Sunday, 20:01

Yes.

_great!_

_ill make a list of the persons i think we could use, do you maybe have a building we could use?_

Yes, but you'll have to wait until it's ready.

_no problem, if you still need an interior designer i know somebody._

~~~

And that's how Narcissa found herself inspecting an old, desolated building, which also seemed to be the hideout of a homeless man who introduced himself as Dumbledore. She didn't really need to be there, but she wanted to see it herself. 

There was still a lot of work to be done, but Narcissa had hired a few good workers, who'd already proved themselves to be extremely good at their job before.

She knew almost all the workers, except for the interior designer. You could have expected that, with a surname like his. She was supposed to meet him, Blaise Zabini, today. She really didn't want to.

She was afraid. Not afraid of him, no, but afraid that somehow, he would bring up his mother, or talk to Diana about her, or just do something that brought her and Diana closer. She was afraid that she would spill all her secrets if that happened, that she would be completely open to Diana, because Diana seemed the kind of person that would take the oppurtunity and walk in (and then leave, after she'd taken everything valuable with her)

At least Luna would be there too

~~~

_i cant make it today, my dad needs me._

_~~~_

Well.

~~~

"Hello"

The person sitting at the table looked up. He matched Luna's description, so Narcissa assumed this was Blaise. He rose from his seat and extended his hand.

"Hello, you must be Narcissa."

She took it.

"I am."

They both sat down. Luckily, Blaise seemed to have no problems with skipping the small talk, and he got straight to the point. Before long, conversation was flowing easily. They agreed that no definite plans would be made, because they didn't know what atmosphere would be best. Narcissa gave him the blueprints of the building, and they discussed a few of his ideas.

They were at ease, and after a while they even talked about things that weren't work related. They both knew Draco, so that was a safe topic, but then Blaise mentioned his name.

"But why call him Draco though? No offense, but it's a pretty posh name. We teased him a lot for it, made me grateful that I could choose my own name"

"There's a tradition to name our whole family after stars or constellations."

"But, as far as I know, Narcissa isn't a constellation, right? Or a star?"

"It isn't." 

This was obviously not the answer he wanted, but Narcissa was stalling, hesitating. She didn't know if she could tell him.

"So why are you called Narcissa?"

Draco trusted him though, so she probably could too.

"Well, to be fair, I once had a star name. It was just a little bit too _male _for my tastes."

It was actually pretty funny to watch Blaises eyes widen in silent understanding.

"But weren't your parents very conservative? How did you get them to chance your name?"

"Almost my whole family is. But they were very private about their children, would only show us to the public once we had enough manners to show some perfect picture. And luckily I knew from a very young age that I had the wrong name."

"I realized when I was twelve."

_Oh. _of course.

"That you name was too... _girly, _I suppose?"

"Yeah. Though you can just say trans, you know? Instead of talking about names."

"I'm not used to that. It's not a topic that was ever talked about when I was younger. Especially not by my parents."

"So how...?"

"I refused to listen to _that _name, made a scene in public about it, stole my mom's dresses and either wore them or destroyed them (or both). After a while they got so tired of it that they agreed."

"And the name? Did you choose it yourself?"

"No. My parents did. I was so relieved that they finally gave in that I didn't dare protest. They then chose Narcissa, not a star, because in their eyes I wasn't really a part of the family anymore. Also, you know the myth of Narcissus?"

"Hot guy falls in love with his own reflection, dies because he can't stand to look away from himself, gets poofed into a flower by the gods."

"Exactly. Since I was so "obsessed with how I looked" they named me Narcissa."

A silence fell. Narcissa watched Blaise opening his mouth, as if to say something, and then change his mind several times. Finally he said it.

"But what about Draco?"

"He's my son. Just not biologically."

After that they talked about easier topics again, with a familiarity that hadn't been there before.

Narcissa liked him, and he made her curious about the other persons Luna would introduce her to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of you want to know more about how Luna and Ginny got together, read my oneshot! (Next in the series.)  
Once again, of you see any mistakes please tell me!  
Also, comments are very motivational (hint hint).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating last week guys, i was in Greece!  
Also, I wrote this sleep-deprived, so I'm sorry for this mess. I have already edited a few mistakes out (the 'it seemed like' is deliberate), but if you still see any, please tell me!

"Stop stealing all my friends!"

"Now, Draco, is that any way to start a phonecall with your mother?"

"Normally, it isn't, but normally my mother does not steal my friends."

"You should be happy I haven't befriended the Pakistani boy yet, what was his name again?"

"You know his name. I have _heard_ you use his name."

"Hmm, you did? Thats weird, since I can't remember it?"

"It's Potter."

"O, that's a pretty unusual first name, isn't it?"

"Mother." He said, making it obvious that she'd strucken a nerve.

"Draco, you don't have to tell me if you really don't want to, but I think it's a bit stupid to refuse to say Potters first name."

"Ugh. Fine. His name is Harry, happy now?"

Narcissa wondered if Draco had ever said his name before. The name sounded foreign in his mouth, reminding her of when he was learning French, producing sounds he wasn't used to, but which would roll easily of his tongue so very soon.

"Very. Anyway, why did you call?"

"Like I said, my friends all suddenly love you. Why?"

"Well it can hardly be all of them, I have only met two."

"Yeah, but those two are the two I'm with right now, and they are talking about you!"

"I still don't get why you're so upset about that. It's not like this is a topic you're foreign with."

"Okay, maybe that's not why I called. What's this magazine thing?"

She was surprised by his question. She had already told him about it.

"What do you still want to know?"

"Why you asked me to work for you."

"I-', she hadn't asked him a thing, 'I did?"

"Well, not in person, which is even weirder, but Luna just asked me to take photo's for it."

"That means we asked you because of your talent as a photographer."

(He truly was talented)

"Sure. I already told you I don't want some pity job. I'm doing fine,' he said, voice tight.

"It wasn't me who decided this, love. Luna picks everyone. The first time I'll know who you'll be working with will be next week. Only then will I see who she's picked."

"Oh. Good to know." He didn't exactly apologize for jumping to conclusions, but she heard it anyway. 

"Shouldn't you go back to your friends?"

"Yeah. Bye mum." She took the 'mum' for the peace offering it was.

"Love you too, Draco."

~~~

Trusting Luna was one of the best things she'd ever done, she decided. Blaise knew what he was doing. A few of the walls had been taken down to create one big workspace, filled with neutral and calming colors. But it still felt unique (not in the least because of the dreamcatchers at each desk, probably there because of Luna)

Then Luna introduced her to the ones she had picked.

There was Lavender Brown, a Black girl with a beatiful afro with one pink-dyed part, holding hands with Parvati Patil, who seemed Indian and also a bit nervous about Narcissa seeing they were holding hands (when Narcissa looked at their hands, she was fast to let Lavender go, muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "just gals being pals").

Luna told her that, while most persons would just work on one part alone, they would be doing everything together, but they would do two times as much, and be in charge of a Pride section and the horoscope (apparently they'd both dabbled in astrology).

After them, she finally learned the last name of the ginger girl she'd already met at the party, Ginny, who apparently would be working on the sport articles.

Then, she met Ron, who turned out to be Blaises boyfriend and a brother of Ginny (she could have known, they were both white, full of freckles and had red hair). He was also, according to Luna, "a stategical genius", so he would be planning their marketing compain, and how they could best crush the concurrention.

Next was Hermione, who was the closest to a leader of all of them, as she would be the one who would make the lay-out of the pages and decide what they would write about.

There would be an editor too, of course, Ernie Macmillen, whom no one seemed particularly close too (she hoped that would change).

Pansy Parkinson followed after that and told her that she would write about fashion (Narcissa thought that, judging by the clothes Pansy wore, that would be a good decision).

She had a very firm handshake, which formed a sharp contrast with the shaking hands of one Colin Creevey, with a Russian accent, who would do the pictures for the Pride piece (where apparently famous queer persons would be interviewed)

Draco's introduction was short, since she already knew him, and knew what he would be doing. 

Harry Potter was one of the last, and she was very curious about him, since he'd managed to make her son fall for his charms. He would be working with Draco, apparently, and write more societal, political pieces.

Luna herself would handle an askcollumn, and make sure the vibes in the building would stay good (whatever that meant).

A shy, Canadian, boy named Neville came after that, and he would write about plants (she asked him a few questions about it, and suddenly he was way more confident)

Lastly, she met Dean Thomas, who would be their illustrator.

They talked for a little while, after the introductions, and decided they would discuss the magazine more in-depth later (and decide on a name), and that they would _absolutely _throw a party when they had straightened all tbe details out.

They even talked for a while about who they would invite. She learned that Ron and Ginny had a lot of brothers (who would all be invited), that Luna would only invite her mother, and that Blaise would probably do the same (they all knew each other, and were absolutely sure that there was no one else he'd invite)

_Well, _she thought, _could be interesting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgent fic is self-indulgent.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I have given up on my update schedule. Ill try to often as often as I can though, this fic is not abandoned!

They really needed a name for the magazine, which was why they were all sitting in a circle, brainstorming.

"What do you think of "The queer agenda"?

This suggestion was made by Ron, who was already snickering a little. Nobody was being serious about the name. Well, they had been, but after half an hour without progress they had kind of given up.

"No.' Hermione said, not even bothering with an explanation.

That was the moment Luna spoke up, for the first time that day. (She had been busy with... _other things_ -they shouldnt have let her sit next to Ginny-)

"What if we just don't name it?"

"We can't. We'll need to advertise and stuff, and that'd be really hard without a name' Lavender said.

Lavender made a good point, but Luna seemed to see it as a challenge, an obstacle,

"Than we can just call it 'untitled'. It's what my dad always does with his inventions."

An obstacle that she walked around, where other people would climb it.

~~~

"Hey, er, ms. Black?"

"You can say Narcissa, if you please. We work together after all."

"Okay."

Narcissa thought this answer to be rather short. She knew Parvati had wanted to ask her something, but Parvati seemed to get more nervous by the minute.

"What do you want to ask?"

Parvati looked at her, startled, as if she hadn't expected her to speak up.

"Oh, well, it's not that important, and you are probably too busy anyway, so I'll just..."

Narcissa had been told she was intimidating more often than most. Apparently she didn't show enough emotion, and Draco had once said that she had what they call a resting bitchface. Most of the time it was useful, but she didn't want the people here to be scared of her.

"I'm not busy at all. What is it?"

"We, I mean, Lavender and I, were discussing who we could interview for our piece, and we wanted to know your opinion. We thought about asking Minerva Mcgonagall, and, er, her partner, of course, coach Hooch." 

"Good choice. She isn't really fond of interviews, but I'm sure she'll make an exception for her ex-students. And Hooch will probably go with her, Minerva has always been able to convince them easily."

~~~

"So , Draco, I heard you got a new job?"

"Mom, please. You are my employer, you should know."

They were in their favourite coffeeshop, owned by a couple in their fourties, Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes, whom Narcissa kinda knew from school. (They had been in different years so she hadn't been close to them. Still wasn't. They made a very fine coffee though)

"Speaking of, why do I have two photographers? Is one not enough?"

"I didn't want to be completely dependent of you, so I work part-time."

"Ah. good thing you got to work with Potter then."

He raised an eyebrow, a gesture he had taken over from her.

"And whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, darling, nothing.

~~~ 

"Okay, everything is ready for the party?"

Hermione nodded.

"Great."

"Oh, but there is something you might want to know."

"What is it?"

"Well,' Hermione said, "Blaise is inviting his mother."

_Rumors sure spread fast. _

"Oh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have truly no idea how one would start a magazine, but I assume most of the people read this dont know either, so it doesnt really matter!


	7. Chapter 7

Narcissa had been to a lot of parties in her life. Some casual, but most were for business, or just pretending to be casual so that people could show off their stuff. None were for "fun".

She'd been to parties filled with celebrities, parties where everyone knew everyone and a misstep could mean your end, parties which would determine the future of her company.

For none of those parties had she been as nervous as for this one.

If you would ask her, she would say it was because this was such a personal project, because she had gotten so invested in it. Before you'd realize it, you'd be talking about your own personal projects. After a while she'd excuse herself, and you'd say, 'of course', and, 'sorry to keep you'. You'd be left with the impression that she was such an elegant lady. And with no idea why you wanted to talk to her in the first place.

That wasn't the real reason, of course. The real reason was quite simple, yet one of the most complicated things in Narcissa's life. Diana Zabini.

"Mom, please stop being so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic."

"Not out loud, no. But it's obvious that you are thinking dramatic thoughts.' Draco nodded solemnly.

She snorted, "You've been hanging around Luna too much."

Why are they being so informal, you ask? It's still pretty early, and for some reason, it was like this early in the morning they were a little bit different. Not "more open" exactly, or "less guarded", just. Different.

It had probably something to do with the fact that Lucius wasn't there. Not because he had been extremely controlling, or something like that. They both just didn't trust him as much as they trusted each other. The pieces of their lives had yet to find their place, now that this barrier was gone. But Narcissa believed they would.

Maybe it was because they were both the kind of person that was guarded in public, and whose guard was build up during the day. So that it was almost absent in the morning.

It could also be because neither of them had had any coffee yet.

"Mom, don't try to change the topic. What were you thinking about? The love of your life?'

'I wasn't thinking about chocolate, no, but thanks for asking.'

Draco sighed, 'Zabini. Were you thinking about Diana Zabini.'

'I don't _love_ her.'

'You could, one day.'

Silence. Only for a while.

'Aren't you worried that I'll die, like her earlier partners?'

'I don't know if you noticed, but those were all, like, _old._'

'I'm not really young either, you know.' 

'Don't worry mom, you don't look a day over eighty.'

'How sweet of you to say.'

Until this point, they had both kept straight faces. Narcissa had a good pokerface, one that could last for days.

Draco looked at her, already laughing a little.

So maybe her pokerface only lasted a minute, who knew?

'But, um, how can you be so sure?', he suddenly said, and he probably only sounded breathless because he'd just laughed.

'Sure of what?'

'Of wether you love her or not.'

She raised an eyebrow, 'Is this about Potter again?'

'What? No! Just curious, that's all.' He flushed. It totally was about Potter again.

'We're Blacks, love, if we love someone, we'd burn down the world for them, and build them a throne from the ashes.'

'We... would?'

'Take Andromeda, for example. She loved that working class boy, Ted, so much that she risked getting thrown out of our family. Sirius, who did the exact same thing, for Lupin.

Uncle Alphred of course, you don't know him, but he also risked it all for the man he loved. And let's not forget Regulus, who betrayed Riddle for the Potters.

And... Bella I suppose, if you can call that weird obsession with Riddle _love_,'

'Ugh', Draco said, 'Riddle.'

She knew he mainly just wanted to change the subject so that he wouldn't have to think about him and Harry. She let him, a little.

'Why don't you write an article about him? I'm sure you and Harry could find some dirt on him, with our resources and your brains.'

He laughed softly. 'We are already planning on it. It's pretty big though, so it'll take some time.'

She was glad to hear that. Tom Riddle was a terrible man, and a politician, and also a terrible politician. He was charming though, and smart, and not too bad on the eyes, and _filthy_ rich (he treated his employees like shit though), so he got to keep being a politician. 

He was also awful to everyone that wasn't a cishet, abled, white, rich man.

Riddle had been gone for a while, about twenty-five years ago, after the rumor spreaded that he had tried to kill the Potters. There had been rumours like that before, of course, but what did it was that he had apparently tried to kill the young Harry Potter.

People were shocked when they saw a scar on his little forehead, started calling him "The Boy Who Lived", and Riddle retreated. It was never proven that he had anything to do with it, and now that everyone had almost forgotten about it, he'd come back.

~~~~

Luna suddenly stepped out of the crowd, and wished her luck. She wasn't even the only one who had done that (although she was the only one who had given Narcissa something that looked like a big, green onion, "for luck". (Narcissa put it in her purse)).

Apparently everyone knew what she was about to do. 

That did not, in any way, make it easier.

There really was no reason to feel this nervous, honestly. She was just going to ask out the woman who she had crushed on since she knew what a crush was. No big deal. She would either say yes or no.

Narcissa _knew_ that Diana would probably say no. She could handle that. It would probably be awkward between them the next time they met, but they didn't even meet all that often.

So why did her heart still feel like it had grown wings and was trying to fly away? 

It was, of course, because _somehow _she had some hope. Because _somehow _Draco's teasing had had some effect. Because _somehow _she believed that there was a small chance that Diana would say yes. Pathetic, wasn't it? 

As she walked trough the crowd, she tried to pluck the feathers from the wings on her heart. _She's probably straight._

She looked down at her hands, and noticed they were shaking. Hopefully Diana wouldn't notice.

_Even _if_ she remembers you from Hogwarts, you're nothing special to her._

She spotted Diana, because she _always _spotted Diana. That was one of the abilities that you got when you had a kinda-semi-crush on someone for about thirthy years.

_She can do so much better._

Narcissa stepped closer to her, and made eye contact (Diana's eyes were still gorgeous).

_She doesn't like you._

"Diana."

_She has probably heard the ugliest rumours about you. Maybe even the ugliest truths._

Diana smiled and it was a dangerous thing. A dangerous thing that Narcissa would blindly follow, given the chance. "Narcissa. To what do I owe the pleasure?'

_She deserves someone who'll always put her first. Draco will always be your highest priority._

'I was wondering wether you'd like to go out with me.'

_She will say no._

'I _would_ like that. A lot, in fact.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Narcissa wakes up and discovers this was all a dream, haha just kidding. Or am I?
> 
> Anyway, i love comments (and kudos). Even if you just leave a comment saying "kudos" ill love you forever. Forever :).  
PLease tell me what you think, and if I made any mistakes.


	8. Chapter 8

Narcissa didn't really remember what had happened after Diana said yes (had Diana not added that she'd love to? Probably not).

Narcissa had been trained in etiquette from a very young age, so when she inclined her head towards Diana and proposed the first place and date to come to mind, no one noticed that she was freaking out inside.

She hadn't stopped freaking out since then, and today it was even worse than it had been in days, because today was the day of their date.

Now her house was filled with people, because she'd made the mistake of telling that to Draco. He had invited practically everyone of "Untitled" (the name'd stuck).

They meant well of course, and they'd taken it upon themselves to help her prepare. Pansy had looked through her entire wardrobe (no easy feat, seeing as it was time for another charity auction soon) and picked a truly terrific outfit.

Draco was there for her moral support. Harry was there for... Draco's moral support? She didn't really know.

Luna had simply walked up to her and said: "Do you still have the Gordyroot?"

Narcissa, assuming that Luna meant the green radishlike thing that was in her purse still, nodded.

"Well, then everything will end well for sure!" 

Ginny tried to give her some tips, but ended up accidentally teaching her some self-defense.

Hermione tried to give her some flirting tips.

Parvati and Lavender took it upon themselves to teach her the dating rules. She didn't even object, because this was Narcissa's first date. Ever. 

'Okay,' Lavender said, 'you have to let her know you're interested. But dont show too much interest!'

'_Don't show too much interest_, ' Hermione teased, 'Like you did with Won-Won?'

(The history between these people was obviously there. Narcissa only hadn't completely figured it out yet (she didn't want to ask Draco, that felt like cheating))

'That reminds me, don't talk about your exes until at least the third date. No serious topic at the first date at all,' Parvati added

'Do not text her the first three days after your date! And give her flowers, everyone loves flowers! Neville, come here!'

Lavender gestured at Neville to walk over, and only then did Narcissa see that he carried a bouquet.

"Hi", he said extending the bouquet to her,"it's got red tulips because red roses are a bit too overkill for a first date, and I added some daffodils because they symbolize new beginnings, and then cornflowers for good luck in a new situation."

"And it's got nothing to do with the fact that daffodils are also known as Narcissus?'

He smiled a small smile, "almost nothing."

~~~

Narcissa had decided to come ten minutes early to their date, so that she maybe could have some time to mentally prepare. Yet, when she arrived there, Diana was already sitting at a table.

But it didn't matter anyway, because Narcissa doubted she could prepare herself for... that. Diana looked _stunning, _of course, but it also looked like she'd put some effort into her look, which did funny things to Narcissa's insides.

But that was not all. The first thing that had come to Narcissa's mind when she suggested a place was the coffeeshop she and Draco frequently visited. It was a very cozy place, but this was also the place where Draco'd come out to her, and where she went to directly after she'd decided to divorce, and where she'd once gotten Draco to laugh so hard that he choked on his drink, _in public_.

And to see Diana, looking so at home, in a place that felt do much like home to her and that she held so close to her heart, made Narcissa feel like she could maybe let _Diana_ in close to her home and heart, and as if _maybe_ Diana would feel at home there too (she wanted to find out).

She sat down in front of her. 

"Hey", Diana said, easy and calm and perfect.

"Hello", Narcissa said, way too stiff and formal. She handed her the flowers.

Diana accepted them gracefully, "Oh, this will certainly help selling all this." She smiled quickly at the paparazzi that was lurking at the window, as if she were posing for a photograph. Then she turned to Narcissa again. "As you are probably well-aware, no less than two of my... exes used to work with Tom Riddle."

She _was _aware of that, but she was also aware of the fact that it wasn't the proper first date etiquette to bring up past lovers, but before she could voice her confusion a waitress came to take her order, and Diana stopped talking.

As soon as she'd ordered, however, Diana continued. "And I am well-aware that you and your magazine have been trying to find dirt on him. I must say that the idea of a date surprised me, but it's so bold that the press will certainly look no further."

One of the first things Narcissa had learned about being in a family that had so much prestige and connections, was to look like she was always in a position of power. Seeing as knowledge equals power, that means that no information must ever seem to surprise you, not even when it seems like the ground beneath you suddenly disappeared.

"Thanks for the compliment", she replied, "I'm glad you decided to come." (that wasn't even a lie)

"Of course, darling." Normally, the petname would've made Narcissa irrationally happy. Now, it only served as a harsh reminder that Diana wasn't here to call her petnames or to be nice to her, or to, gods forbid, be on a date with her. "See it as a thanks for not trying to weasel this information from Blaise."

Somehow, that hurt even worse, because now Diana wasn't even here because she agreed with, or maybe even admired, Narcissa's plans, but only because Narcissa had shown basic courtesy.

"That was the least I could do. Riddle has probably covered up all his serious crimes thoroughly, so at this point we'd already be happy with something like tax evasion. Anything else is also welcome, though."

"I'll gladly help. Unfortunately Brendon never told me anything," Narcissa remembered Brendon. He was a part of Tom Riddle's first inner circle, "Henry, however, used to go to someone called Nott, and always came back different. Wide and bright-eyed, but I've never known if that was because of fanaticism or simple fear. Either way it was way beyond anything that Nott could instill in someone."

Narcissa had met Nott, and he was indeed not very impressive. His son was a friend of Draco's.

"Seems like I need to pay Nott a visit then."

"If it's not too much trouble, could _we_ maybe pay Nott a visit? Tom Riddle and I aren't exactly friends."

Narcissa should've said no. It really wouldn't be good for her mental health to get near Zabini again, especially since that was a sure way to re-awaken all these unnecessary and hinderly feelings. Yet, she was very, very weak for being a 'we'.

"Of course. But it will be more suspicious that way."

Diana smiled. "Not if we pretend that our date went well. So well, in fact, that we'll need to have a second one in, let's say, Aberdow Park."

Narcissa, knowing that Aberdow Park was next to the Nott's mansion, couldn't help but admire her wit. She nodded. "It would probably help if I had your phone number, so that we can keep in touch."

They exchanged phones, and Narcissa felt insanely stupid for blushing when their hands met. She wasn't some young schoolgirl on a date. She wasn't even on a date.

Still, she decided to enjoy Diana's arm in hers when they walked out, even though she knew it was only because of the photographer outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I know the last time I updated it was still 2019 but! take this as my apology: some plot


	9. Chapter 9

Draco looked excited as soon as Narcissa stepped into their home, and while he hid it well, there was no mistaking the gleeful tone of his voice: "How did it go?"

Draco wasn't the only one looking at her expectantly. Apparently everyone who had helped her with the preparations of the date had decided to stick around, and Narcissa felt a pit of dread in her stomach at the idea of disappointing them.

She shouldn't care so much, but they'd all helped her to have the perfect date, and now she had ruined it all with her poor communication skills.

Narcissa fixed her eyes on some point above Draco's head, and kept her voice as even as possible while saying: "Diana has agreed to helping us with Riddle, and even delivered some, possibly vital, information."

She was interrupted by Lavender: "I thought we said _no_ serious topics on the first date, gosh." The tone was playful, and Lavender smiled while saying it. She obviously didn't mind it; she had told Narcissa that the most important thing was to have fun ("and to get a second date, of course!"). Problem is, getting rejected without someone even acknowledging your feelings for them is not exactly fun.

"Yes," Narcissa said, because it would be no use to keep this for herself, "speaking of, it wasn't a date."

Suddenly everyone was looking at her. Luckily, Narcissa was trained for being the centre of attention, so she managed to keep her mask in place.

Blaise was, surprisingly, the first to speak up. "It... wasn't?"

"No. Diana interpreted my... question, as an elaborate way for us to speak without the press getting wind of our true intentions. No matter if my true intentions were already on full display." Narcissa hadn't meant to say that last part out loud, but she was just so _tired_. It took a lot of energy to pretend you're pretending to be in love with someone you're actually in love with, apparently 

Luna hugged her. Narcissa was surprised, but she wouldn't pretend it was unwelcome. Luna didn't say anything, and that was even more comforting, in a way. Now Narcissa could still pretend the hug didn't come from pity.

"I'm sorry." Harry tells her.

"Don't be", she turned to Neville, and even mustered a small smile. "She liked your flowers."

Everyone fell silent after that, so Narcissa turned around and went to her room.

~~~

"You know," Pansy said, "If you and mrs. Zabini are going to keep this up, I assume that our magazine gets the first interview, right?"

Narcissa nodded. She liked that Pansy didn't sugarcoat it, or beat around the bush, but just accepted it as it was. 

"When are you going to investigate Nott?"

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. "After all these relentless questions, I'm starting to think I should've let _you_ do the interviews."

"Oh no, you know just as well as I do that the only role we have were you really interview someone is the interviewing of the famous queer people, and I'm not nice enough for that. For example, when someone tries to change the subject, I would not let that slip." 

"We're going to investigate Nott in an hour, actually."

"We?"

"Diana and I"

"Okay," Pansy made to stand up, "I won't tell the others, because if you wanted them to know, they all would already. But please make sure this doesn't take too much of a toll on you, alright?"

"Alright." Narcissa said, and she smiled reassuredly and wondered if Pansy's interviewing ability is good enough to see when someone is faking it.

As Pansy walked away, Narcissa started getting ready.

Maybe she put a bit more effort in her appearance than strictly necessary, but if she were truly dating Diana it would be the most logical thing to do, right? And Narcissa wanted it to seem real. (She also wanted it to _be_ real, but that was neither here nor there)

They had agreed on meeting in front of the coffeeshop of their first 'date', but just like last time, Diana was already there by the time Narcissa arrived.

"I was thinking" Narcissa started while walking up to Diana, happy that she had prepared this in the car, because surely she wouldn't be able to think of anything with Diana looking like _that_, "by what kind of second date would the couple visit someone they both only vaguely know?"

Diana smiled up at her, "I'm sure the press will figure something out. Who knows, maybe we already had a secret relationship for years and have only just decided to go public?

"Oh, sure, maybe you had to visit Nott anyway, and did I want to spend time with you so badly I decided to come with, _darling._"

"Maybe I think visiting shared acquaintances is the pinnacle of romance, _sweetheart."_

And, wow, in hindsight teasingly calling Diana a petname wasn't her _best_ idea, because now Diana was doing it too. Still, Narcissa tried her hardest to hide her blush.

They got into Diana's car then, and drove away.

~~~

"So, how are we going to do this?" Narcissa asked, while scanning their surroundings for paparazzi. She was pleasantly surprised that no one seemed to be there.

"Well, if he's not home, we'll break in."

"Sound plan, and in case he's home, we can't pretend to be on his side, because we're pretty well-known. We can try to intimidate him? Pretend we know way more than we do, and look what we can get from him?"

Diana looked at her appraisingly. "Yes, good plan."

The Notts have a mansion, and Narcissa suddenly remembered that Lucius had given them one of his hideous, pretentious white peacocks. She couldn't see it anywhere on the grounds, and she wondered if the Notts had gotten rid of it. Maybe they had a better taste than she thought.

She pressed the button on the gate. A staticly voice came out of it: "Who's there?"

"Mrs. Black," Narcissa responded, and technically it's true, but if the poor butler was now under the impression that her mother, or one of her aunts was there, well,then that couldn't be helped, "With a guest." 

The voice, suddenly sounding a whole lot friendlier, said: "I'll immediately alert lord Nott, he'll be happy to see you." The gates opened.

Diana, shaking her head, said "I'll never know how you do that."

"How I do what?"

"_That," _Diana repeats, waving her hand at the opened gates, "You somehow manage to get everywhere and everything you want, without as much as a drop of sweat on your forehead."

"Oh please," Narcissa said, looking at Diana, "I don't get _everything _I want."

~~~

"Hello Nott"

He looked up, startled, but tried to regain his nonchalant air with two nods, "Black, Zabini."

Narcissa looked at him, at the uncertain way he carried himself, and realized that he would be about as useful as the chair he was sitting on. She and Diana would do much better on their own.

Decision made, she turned to Nott. "Look, there are two ways this can go. Either we try to get information from you, which will be unpleasant for everyone involved, but mostly for you, especially because I doubt that Riddle tells you anything, or you can leave this room now and forget we are here."

He walked quickly to the door. Narcissa wasn't surprised; Nott had always been a coward.

"Oh, before you leave," Diana, who hadn't spared Nott a glance since she had entered the room, suddenly turned to him. "If someone finds out that we were here, than someone _will_ find out that you were with Charlotte.

Nott paled at that, and left the room while stumbling over the doorstep in his haste.

"Charlotte?" Narcissa asked.

"The women Nott is cheating on his wife with. What happened to your informants? You used to know almost as much as me."

Narcissa smiled at that, because she's pretty sure she knew _more_ than her, but seeing as she's not sure enough to say that out loud, she said: "I was focusing my efforts on Draco, and I hadn't expected to come back here."

"So did I," Diana said, her eyebrow raised in a way that's obviously a challenge, and Narcissa has to tamper down the adrenaline, has to control herself and not raise to the bait.

But that's easier said than done. "So, speaking of things I might or mightn't already know, did you actually kill your husbands?"

Years ago, Narcissa had went on a vacation with just her and Draco. It was to their second house, but Narcissa had only discovered that the heating didn't work properly once she got there. She and Draco had cuddled through the night with an immense amount of blankets. It hadn't been uncomfortable, but when she'd stepped outside the next morning the sun had felt like a true blessing, and Narcissa had felt content, and happy to exist. Diana's answering laugh reminded her of that sun.

Diana didn't answer the question. They worked fast, and in silence, looking through all the cabinets and pocketing every document that seemed relevant.

When they left the building it was suspiciously quiet, almost as if even the servants avoided them. Narcissa smiled at the thought. 

Just before they got into the car, Diana spoke up: "Some of them put their hands on Blaise."

Narcissa nodded. She didn't expect Diana to say more, since it was a good and conclusive answer to her question. Diana fulfilled her expectations.

Unfortunately, there was someone waiting for them when they got back to the coffeeshop. Diana pointed at the woman with blonde curls, "Who's that?"

"Rita skeeter. She works for the Daily Prophet, dislikes me because our magazine is quickly getting more popular than she ever was. We'll have to start pretending again." 

"Alright then. How should we go about it?"

"I think it would be best if you dropped me off as close to my car as possible-"

"The less time spend with that Skeeter the better."

"Exactly. And then I could," Narcissa paused here, because she wasn't entirely sure if she really could do it, but it would be _very _convincing, if it worked, "I could kiss your cheek, before I left, if that's fine with you?"

"That's fine with me." Diana said, but she was looking at the road, not at Narcissa. They stopped, and Narcissa decided it was now or never.

She opened her car door, then twisted around. Diana smelled lovely, she noted absently, and her cheek was very soft. As soon as it wouldn't look weird anymore she recoiled, getting out of the car as fast as she could, glad that Diana couldn't see her bluch. (Yes, she was blushing over a _kiss on the cheek_. How old was she, thirteen?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here I am again!! I hope you guys don't mind the direction this took, but so far I'm having fun! There will probably only be about two more chapters though.
> 
> I'm too tired to proofread this right now, so please tell me if I made any mistakes!!  
Kudos and comments are appreciated, have a nice day!


End file.
